Smackdown Review
In this update, I take a look at Smackdown from Friday Night. A pretty decent show, bookended by two abysmal incidents. It started with an incredibly dull Batista interview. He feels cheated following last weeks loss (care of Rey Mysterio, who intervened in the match). Batista threatens to walk out and take all the fans with him, because everyone is there to see him. Of course they are, Dave. Rey comes out and calls him a crybaby. The interaction between these two and the crowd just seemed so false and patronising. WWE’s kid friendly agenda was never more evident. Anyways, they set up a match for the Main Event, which was the only other terrible moment of the night. More on that later.
Kane v Dolph Ziggler was the opening match, and a decent one at that. Ziggler comes across as a competent heel, cheating his way to a victory by countout. Jericho is backstage trying to make allies of the Hart Dynasty. I love the Hart Dynasty and I really hope WWE keeps them together for a while and doesn’t pull the ‘tag split’ trigger too soon. My only problem is that they talk of Bret Hart’s mistreatment on Raw as an embarrassment. I don’t know why they’re denying these guys a rub from the Hitman. Let’s see if it goes anywhere on Monday. Jericho tags with them against Cryme Tyme and R-Truth. This was my match of the night. A great 6-Man Tag. It’s a shame that tag team wrestling is in such a rut (or has been for about 10 years, anyway).
Next, CM Punk saves another member of the ‘WWE Universe’. Here’s something I can’t stand. The ‘WWE Universe’. We’re wrestling fans, not hangers on in the cartoon WWE world. It just seems so childish and the constant references are tiresome. But not half as tiresome as the constant advertising of the new Mattel toy line. I have made a vow to NEVER buy a WWE/Mattel product. Having said that, let me take a minute to talk about the new Dave Harley’s Sharpshooting T Shirt…only kidding.
Punk carries a good promo, but don’t you just hate how fake those crowd plants are? I uderstand that they’re new stable members, so they don’t have to look too convincing. But they stand out from the crowd with their terrible acting. It just makes me roll my eyes. Why not juast bring him out and say he’s one of the ring crew? I’d buy that. Anyways, another convert to the Straight Edge cause. To prove how great these disciples of Punk are, Luke Gallows takes out Matt Hardy. His finisher, the Gallows Pole is a highlight.
I’ll skip the irritating noise of a Vickie Guerrero promo and a Divas Match. You’ll get used to this. I don’t do womens wrestling, I’m afraid. Morrison and McIntyre have an altercation, then it’s Main Event time.
I wonder if this Mysterio/Batista feud is born out of simply having NOTHING to do with either of them. Because that’s exactly how it feels. Mysterio needs a serious overhaul, which’ll never happen because he sells so much merchandise and the kiddies love him. Turn him heel, unmask him, do SOMETHING. Just don’t – please, don’t – put him in a David/Goliath match against someone like Batista. After a predictable few minutes of so-called action, the lights go out and Undertaker’s bell chimes. Batista has been laid out. It happens again, this time Rey is taken out. Once more and Takers Titantron fires up and the show closes. Will this mean a Mysterio/Batista rematch next week? God, I hope not.
Sharpshooting with Dave Harley 
I’m afraid a rematch is exactly what it means, Dave. They advertised the steel cage match on RAW tonight.